Musings on Motherhood

I find few things more gratifying than getting boogs out of Eli's nose- grossest thing ever, but I hate listening to him breathe with a stuffy nose and he sleeps better when he can breathe.

Time both stands still and speeds by; life before him is this vague entity- because it doesn't feel weird to have him here. It feels very normal and right that Kenny and I are parents now. At the same time- 2 months old?! How? When? It blows my mind.

I stop being frustrated with Kenny the second he holds our son, the image of them being together makes me forget about the trash can entirely- magical powers.

I truly believe Eli is going to captivate the world,  I believe he is destined for great love.

Sometimes I don't like taking pictures of Eli or writing about him or to him because I don't know how I can accurately capture how I feel, what I think it or how he looks. It's all too beautiful and precious.

To get myself to not be a crazy person and check his breathing everytime he shuts his eyes to sleep, I get super morbid and remind myself that if he dies in his sleep, me checking up on him won't do any good. 

I don't know how terrible of a parent I would be if Eli was a normal sleeper, but I'm guessing awful.  Eli typically sleeps at night for a 6.5-9 hour stretch and then wakes for a 3 hour stretch. He has done this for weeks. On the nights that he is an average baby and wakes up every 3.5 hours, Kenny typically takes him from me because he can hear me begging the baby to go to sleep. To all you mamas dealing with the torture that is sleep deprivation and haven't snapped- I applaud you.

I rarely call Eli by his name, typically, he is just "the baby." Eli sounds a little too formal.

6 Weeks Old

This kid has rocked my world.  He is starting to smile and interact with Kenny and I;  It's so much fun and so gratifying to get a response from him.  Eli has also started to snuggle into us;  He will nuzzle right into a shoulder or neck.  I'm loving the little baby cuddles.  Eli will track me across the room now and I love being the favorite right now. I know that sounds bad now, but I know that Kenny will be the favorite as soon as I'm not the only source of food, so for now, I'll soak it up.  Kenny and I are starting to get into a routine with Eli and figure out how to co-parent and remain in our roles as husband and wife.  This week is going to be our first real week, with Kenny training newbies and me working 4 shifts, wish us luck!  Fortunately, family is headed out here in 10 short days and we will steal away for a long awaited date.  I've worked a couple shifts so far and have to say I don't miss Eli a ton.  I know that when the time comes that I get to stay home with him full time (which will be amazing!), I won't be able to ditch baby responsibility for 25 hours a week.  I think what I've been surprised about the most with Eli is how very much I love him and how completely different that love is over any other that I feel.  I don't know quite how to describe that love, but once I complete his birth story, maybe I'll be able to articulate it through that post, which should be coming on Sunday!

Taking out the BOB! Eli and I both love this stroller and if the weather would start to cooperate, we would be taking walks in it everyday.

Its a little dark and grainy, but Sam loves Eli's crib and tolerates nap companions.

"Helping out" in the bakery

He's quite happy once fed and changed

Baby shoes before he outgrows them, I feel like he is going to be tall and broad.

Getting to know each other

Snuggly Saturday

Smiles!

Gah! Is this the cutest thing ever?