Homemaking

When Kenny and I were at the ripe old age of eighteen and beginning to seriously discuss getting married, his wonderful mother said something that shocked me to my core. Kim mentioned that Kenny would want to find a job that would be income enough to support us so that I could stay home and be a wife and mother. Psshh! I was appalled, I didn't need a man to take care of me, I could pull my own weight and take care of whatever needed to be done at home just fine. You see, I come from homes where strong women reign. We work, we clean, we cook, we do it all... we try to do it all. My mom works, my step-mom works, I will work. And for a long time, work has been wonderful, I love to be busy, love to be working and "being productive." My dad is a big believer in becoming a productive member of society, it's ingrained in me.

Only, now, work may not be what I wanted. I've noticed this past year and a half, a big change crashing down on my idea of ideal. The art of homemaking is a job in and of itself. How many people sew, knit, can, garden, cook, clean? I'll be honest, the only thing on that list that I can do well is cook, but I can learn to do the others. I've decided that Kim was right, homemaking is my calling. To knit scarves and mitten for my family to wear, keep and clean an inviting home for them to retire to at the days end, make them food in the garden and then prepare it, these are my new ideal.

However, putting away that workaholic self won't be easy and to be honest, would be denying a large part of myself. Which is where the bakery comes in. Kenny and I have big dreams for the bakery, we want it to turn into a small company, as in four employees small. I need to have work, need to have that making money successful part of my life, I'm just looking forward to the options in homemaking that it will open up for me. New goal for the bakery? 1000 cookie of the month club members. Big giant number yes, but a number that we could still do in our own little bakery (with an oven and mixer upgrade). As the bakery starts to pick up, therefore allowing me to be home more often, hopefully in January, be on the lookout for new adventures in what homemaking means for our little home.

Too much time vs. too little

As some of you may be aware... I like to be busy. I thrive on the constant scurrying from one place to the next, late, always, always late (my apologies to the punctual people... and my many employers). Kenny is not this way. Kenny needs downtime, he likes schedules and order. Ah the delight of the opposite. This is a good thing, he calms me, centers me, slows me down. I'm not sure if I have the opposite effect on him; for some reason pulling someone along doesn't sound as nice as centering someone else.

Recently I have come to realize that time is something that can be harnessed and controlled, not something that I am constantly running after. Thanks to my incredible boss, and future gardner, I have been granted a SET SCHEDULE. For those of you not in the restaurant industry, this is amazing and rather unheard of. However with this schedule comes the ability to plan my own life. Alas, here I sit, "wasting" time; checking out food blogs, facebook, wedding photographers, cute overload and people.com (please withhold your judgement) with plenty of "to dos" on my list. The problem is that I know I have today off, and tomorrow, and next week, SAME THING WILL HAPPEN! Time management has never been my strong suit.

Here's the thing, I started a bakery. I live in a house that isn't quite decorated to my exact liking. Halloween is around that corner and my tutu hasn't been created. My p90x dvds have not been used for a month. The fridge has nothing in it. We got the movie channels. My carpets are in desperate need of a deep cleaning. To top it all off, fall/winter has hit Idaho, meaning I do not want to leave my house, at all. Which leaves me trying to find a balance between Kenny's relaxed spirit and my mad dashing self that collapses after a week. In other words, the option of having time leads me to feel like I have less of it than ever before.